Burglar Blues

There's only one thing worse than coming home and finding your door wide open and that is coming home and it wasn't in the spot you left it in. Lucky for me it was the former I came home to.
Really annoying knowing you have been robbed. Really, really, really annoying being robbed three times in last three years. If only I was this popular in dating world and I would have a Prince in no time! Might get some camera surveillance for my house just in case I am missing some hotties who have been coming to visit.
So there I am at wide open door and I have been clearly broken into. Walk into first room and everything in tact. Walk into second room and again everything in tact and nothing taken. I am not only confused but very nervous as I wonder why someone has broken in but so far hasn't taken anything. I am too afraid to go to next level of house as figure my "visitors" must be staying for a cup of tea.
Had to get neighbours to help me look and was very happy when no killers jumped out of my washing machine.
Alarm sensor must have deterred them. That or my photo from high school near the front door. My hair was very scary.
Best part of night was when police arrived. Three of them. All young, all gorgeous. Seemed too good to be true. As they took photos and fingers prints I began to wonder if maybe they were strippers and my friends were playing a trick on me. Put song YMCA on the stereo and waited for the show to begin. Was disappointed when no clothes came off. Even pulled a few singles out for encouragement. Instead got a police report and warning for trying to bribe an officer.
Was worth a shot.