The End of the Affair

Dear Reader,
It is with a heavy heart and lack of words that I have to tell you something. Let me start by saying it is not you, it is me. We have had a great relationship and have so much in common yet I just can't give you what you want.
Now please don't get upset, I am not breaking up with you completely and of course I want to remain "friends". It is just that the way we are headed with our relationship is not what I had in mind and therefore things must change. Again let me say it is not you, it is all me!
Work has become a priority and as such I have had to let a few things go and one of those things is the marathon and my relationship to you. If you just give me some time I am sure I will be able to change and make myself into the person you want me to be and in the mean time I hope we can still remain friends.
We will all still be here (big butt included) and one day I hope I can give you what you want, which is me doing my marathon, but for now I just can't commit to that future (plus I heard there is a great Bat Cave I need to try and find if I can find a man to give me a map).
I think you are amazing but right now you deserve someone better than me. I am sorry I can not be that person.
So even though I said we can be friends can you please give me as long as I need to process this information (may be years, so please be patient and wait for my contact...any other forms of contact will be deemed as obsession and stalking, as I dictate the rules and what is right and wrong behaviour - so if I want to contact you I am immune from all stalking charges). I hope this is clear as my "recovery" from this traumatic decision - even though the decision was mine - will take some time and all your inevitable stalking will just delay the process.
I leave you with this long kiss (and a grab on the ass - just incase you weren't confused already) and hope you can follow all the rules that I have requested and all the rules I have not requested, as I expect you to know exactly what I am thinking at all times.
Once again, I want you to know you are just amazing but I just can't give you what you want.
Always yours, Paula xx

P.S: So just to confirm you are perfect in every way, except for the fact that work has got in the way of my marathon and so I of course must blame you for that.
P.P.S: Wow suddenly feel much better now...hope you do too! :)