Monday, April 18, 2011

Model Behaviour

I had an interesting question posed to me today and it got me to thinking. Let's say you like a guy and you think he likes you back and the courting phase is going along nicely and then bam you realise he has been hanging out with a model. Yes that's right not any ordinary girl but a model!
Every guy's dream it seems. They get to live the fantasy that graces all of our trashy mags. It is not just Leo or Johnny or The Edge that get to live the life of fabulousness with bikinis and beaches - suddenly this life now applies to the man you are having your own fantasies with (insert white dresses here).
So what do you tell your girlfriend who wants your "honest" opinion that the man she is making a 'how awesome do our babies look when I merge our faces in photoshop and I thought, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days was how woman should act' scrapbook asks if she stands a chance a model?
Now I am figuring she has called me because I have some experience with this kind of conundrum, given my future most certainly lies with Adrien Brody and he has had a plethora of model girlfriends that I will no doubt be compared to when we are married and after extensive therapy I am now okay with that (well sort of).
Yet if I am to be honest with my friend I have to say I am not so sure if she can compete with a model (not all guys are as amazing as my future husband) as it is like comparing apples with oranges. Not that I am sure who is the apple or who is the orange...hmmm...I digress.
I wonder what it must be like to be the model. If it is like picking candy from a candy store and having an unlimited supply of money. You get the biggest and best piece of candy because you are also the best piece of candy in the shop. No worrying if he likes me or wants to see me because the answer is HELL YEAH give me your number!
Yet like any piece of candy sometimes the cheapest 1 cent caramel bud is all you crave and desire because you tried the biggest and best piece of candy and it was actually a bit of a let down. (Maybe I should have used caramel buds instead of apples and oranges, so this model analogy wasn't so damn confusing...apologies, I am clearly hungry).
So I say to my friend that if the man that she is dating wants to leave her for a model then there is nothing she can do about it and lets face it, she could be a model, apple, orange, caramel bud or pizza (actually sorry there is NO comparing pizza because pizza will always win) but all my friend can do is be herself - cellulite and all.
If he wants to try the top shelf candy then so be it, and when he comes crawling back holding his tummy and complaining of diarrhea then she can either help him to the toilet or let him crawl in his own shit.
Either way I think she is a little bit stuffed actually.