Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Dream a little Dream

Last night had a dream that Corey Feldman was my boyfriend. He was a good kisser.
He wasn't too happy that all I seemed to do was ask him about Corey Haim though, which was totally understandable given that Corey Haim really was my favourite. I can understand the jealousy.
He still looked exactly the same as he did in his films and hadn't aged at all. I realised that halfway through the dream I was only using him because he was famous (as was vaguely aware that it should have been Adrien Brody in the dream and this was distracting).
I was in such a dilemma as to how to continue the relationship under these conditions and then realised that I had something at my disposal anytime I needed to get in the mood.
I had shelves of 'Corey Porn'. 9 movies in all of everything "The Corey's" did together.
I didn't think it mattered which Corey got me excited and so Lost Boys was clearly a big winner. License to Drive was also up there.
Dream a little Dream was my favourite though and Corey F also seemed to approve, as he had bigger role and his whole Michael Jackson dance take off really seemed to get him going.
Seemed like it was all going to work really.
And that is the story of how I dreamed a little dream.

Monday, January 3, 2011


So here we are at another year of new beginnings and only one resolution that makes any sense.
After watching a Beyonce concert I have decided her ass is incredible. So my only resolution this year is to have an ass the same size as Beyonce's. That way eating more pizza than last year doesn't even have to come onto my list of resolutions but will instead be a necessity in upkeep of said 2011 ass.
I am excited at my intelligence so early in the year.
After spending both Birthday and New Years by myself - intentional - I am resolved in knowledge that maybe life with Prince is not for me and quite happy to be alone* - as becoming professional at it. Should look into careers as professional hermit and how by doing so will get me my own show on Oprah's new TV network.
Suddenly carefree single life with massive ass is filled with many possibilities (alright maybe my ass will be slightly bigger than Beyonce's but I have to have some originality).
First stop is underwear department to get granny panties and then screen printers to get 'wideload' put on backside.

* Note for Adrien Brody: This does not include you.