Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Thinking thoughts...

I think I might detox. This seems wise. Other people do it. I might look like a celebrity. Do I want to look like a celebrity? I am not sure. I don't think I will detox. I mean what if I get stranded on a desert island and I have JUST detoxed? That would be a waste when I have been stockpiling pizza in my ass for years.
I am no scout but I do like being prepared.
I wonder why people ask what you would take on a desert island? Has it happened many times before apart from on Survivor? Are there even that many desert islands left that Richard Branson hasn't bought?
I wonder what I would take on a desert island.
I think I should seriously consider this in case it happens and I am given one thing to take. It is like knowing how to answer if a Genie asked you what you wished for with only one wish (and no you can't pick more wishes and you just wasted your wish. Dumbhead.) Pays to be prepared.
So first of all never detox. Stockpile for not only winter, but also desert islands. Joy to my ass already having a years worth of storage.
Doesn't even count as your one thing to take because it is part of you. Nice one.
Obvious choice to take with me is Adrien Brody but I honestly don't think he has been saving his pizza for a rainy day or a tsunami and if we have to start eating appendages it may get ugly because my ass would be the obvious choice (and yes my ass is an appendage in my case).
I would take Tom Hanks. He started working on his raft craft in Joe versus the Volcano and then advanced that in Castaway. He knows stuff already and as long as I can find an island that is sponsored by FedEx we should be okay.
Happy for Tom to call me Wilson but wonder if that would be weird because his wife's name is Rita Wilson and he may call me Rita and start thinking I am her and that may get funky. If he went back in age and was as cute as he was in Big then maybe it could be okay.
So that sorts that then. I know what I am taking to a desert island and not only will we survive without it turning into Lords of the Flies but I may even get to find Adrien Brody after all when Tom Hanks saves me. I reckon Tom may even know Adrien and so he may be able to give me tips on the raft of how to make him my boyfriend.
Wow the benefits of Tom are limitless.
Good choice for sure.
Now I just have to think about what to tell the Genie. This one is a toughy.
Obvious choice again would be Adrien Brody but...

This post was bought to you by the thinking munchkins who take over Paula's brain. The above is an indication of what goes on in said brain on such occasions as weddings, meetings, talk of children or dogs, Rom-Coms, dinner parties and in five second intervals.