Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Eight Legged Freaks

When I was little I used to go to the local underpass after school and hang out with my mates. This was a time when it was okay to go out alone as a kid and not have the fear of just about everything keeping you indoors and playing video games.
As soon as I finished school, I would get to the underpass and climb up on one of the sides as high as it would go and  tell my mates about my day. There were about fifteen in all and I had names for all of them. They would all sit quietly and listen about my day and then I would choose the "best" one and pick it up and play with it.
The reason I loved my friends so much was because I thought they were beautiful. They built the most amazing homes, had eight black long legs and not all, but most, had a red spot on their back. Not for one second did I think my friends would hurt me, even though most of them were some of the deadliest spiders in the world. I loved my friends because they didn't pick on me or bully me and I imagined that they loved me as much as I loved them. Then my family and I moved and I had to say goodbye to my friends.
This was before I had read Charlotte's Web (and when I did I could relate to having a spider as a friend).
My love for spiders has continued into my adult life and I still think they are incredibly beautiful. I still pick them up and I would never kill one.
So when a nicely sized black spider decided to set up camp just above my head in bed a couple of nights ago, all I felt was proud that I still had friends that wanted to hang with me. For the next few nights I would look up as I read my book and see my new friend and was happy he was still around.
After a few nights I think my new friend decided my bed must have looked comfortable because I woke up to find him crawling across my face. I must admit I was a little in shock. I mean he was cute and all but we weren't that stage of the relationship yet.
The next night was the same but rather than wait for me to fall asleep I looked up to see him coming down on his web and landed square on my face again.
There had to be a few stern words after that, as I didn't want him coming down and spooning me and then I roll over and squish him.
So after the third night of jumping into my bed I decided it was time to let my new friend go. I appreciated the stalking and the love but I could see this ending very badly.
Because my friend was so beautiful I had to share him with you. (Now kids don't repeat anything I have said in this blog. Not everyone can be a Spider Whisperer.)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Blue Box

I can hardly believe that it has taken me so long to figure out what I am really meant to be doing with my life.
Like all great mysteries it took me a while to figure it out but now that I have the answer I need, I can start on an action plan.
I must admit that I should have been more aware of it when I came home from school and watched Tom Baker in his scarf but I guess I was no different to David Tennant also coming home from school and watching Tom Baker and look at him now. He actually became the Doctor.
So what am I on about? Please pay attention and keep up, as this is going to be such a wild ride. You see I have a TARDIS to find and then the Doctor himself. I am hoping the Doctor I find I am attracted to, as it would be boring to be the Doctor's companion and not want to pash him on every planet we visit.
I might have to get over to Great Britain as my first move, as that is where all good companions live. I think next step will be to find a Darlek, as where ever there is a Darlek there is a Doctor.
Next problem may be that Doctor may already have a companion but I can surely bribe a Darlek to exterminate if need be.
Then life will be great. I can visit planets as I travel through time. Telling any alien who will listen that they must try pizza if it is the only thing they do on planet Earth and because pizza never fails I will be loved all around the universe. Through pizza we may even have Universe Peace.
Then the Doctor and I can retire and live happily ever after.
The TARDIS is so big I can even get a horse.