Thursday, April 29, 2010

Home Abounds

Home again and back to life as we know it. Not sure what life entails from here on in but ready for something fun and exciting to happen.
Given that Prince has not arrived, have to create next adventure for myself (most tiresome....why do men have to take so long?!)
So must make up for men being so scared and distract myself. It is called a "look over here" plan.
Things so far on "look over here" plan are:

Going to Afghanistan to have stern words to Taliban.
Trek around Nepal.
Buy new house with backyard big enough for new horse.
Go to Spain, drink wine and fall in lust with any number of Spanish men.
Stalk Oprah until she puts my book on her show.
Eat pizza until I explode.

Yes it is a tough call as to which adventure I choose first and guessing I will have to do them all to give Prince "time".
Maybe then I won't have to "look over there" and get exactly what I want.
Right. First things first.
Must order lots and lots of pizza...

Friday, April 23, 2010

I heart San Fran.

Goodbye Disneyland. Hello San Francisco.
Main fear was losing my heart in San Francisco but then realised that didn't have much of my heart left to lose. Once that was realised I  stopped wearing protective chest armour in streets.
Days and nights in San Fran have consisted of two activities. Shopping and eating. Yes, very stressful indeed. Shopping not one of favourite past times but eating is, so have been willing to compromise. Two food groups have been on the menu. Pizza (obvious) and hot fudge sundaes. Hot fudge sundaes eaten to date: 7. Those suckers are huge! Reality of eating so many sundaes is not being able to fit into clothes. Lucky shopping is on the agenda or I would have nothing to wear. Actually that is not true, Wonder Woman pyjamas still fit so could easily wear those. Combine pyjamas with Minnie Mouse ears from Disneyland and I could easily be mistaken for one of hundreds of homeless folk asking for money. Tried counting people asking me for money today but lost track after lunch. That or I got confused with number of Americans saying "Super!" I really must stop making up reasons to stress myself out.
Brother has proven he is legendary in all things shopping and not quite sure how we will be allowed onto plane with so many Macy's bags. No doubt I will have to sleep with someone from the the airline to waive excess luggage. Am surprisingly happy to take this for the team.
Big news is Mr Bean is currently staying in our hotel. I haven't seen him myself but figure he can't be too hard to find. Only twenty floors in hotel. Getting good at saying "Room Service" in American accent.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

LA Riots

That's right it is Holiday O'clock!
Flight time: 24 hours. Arrival time into LA: 6am. Hours to stay awake before being able to sleep or jet lag will ensue: 15. Blood shot eyes: Two. Feeling like crap: Not priceless.
Use time wisely by making many schedules and lists, for impending stay, and drive Mother and Brother crazy with need for military precision for every days events. I love a tight schedule and without one get very stressed. Yes, realise this is a holiday but I don't care and am proud of anal retentiveness (someone out there will love me for it. Won't they?)
Mother, Brother and I make it until 4pm and finally get to bed. Plan is to wake at 7am and head off to Disneyland. No sooner than bloodshot eyes are shut and Brother is saying "Morning!" Look at clock and realise it is 7am already. Know there is no possible way I have been asleep for 15 hours. I alert Brother that in fact it is 7pm! Great start to holiday.
Disneyland next day turned out exactly as I had planned. Not surprisingly as had map planned and timed right down to when we would be thirsty. Am feeling fabulous with stress free day due to perfect planning and map memorising. Mother and Brother seemed stressed by fact that toilet breaks were not at times they would have liked but I did brief them over breakfast so totally their own fault for lack of discipline.
Only glitch was getting photo with favourite Disney Princess (Snow White). Princesses no longer roam streets of Disneyland and instead have own photo area. Line up time: 2.5 hours. Snow White picture is on schedule so must be taken. Finally make it to Princess area and realise that there are only three Princesses inside and there is no Snow White. Line up again (after taking sneak peak and seeing Snow White inside. Yay!) Only line takes so long that when we get through it is the same bloody Princesses as before!
Four hours later and finally get to meet Snow White. Totally worth it. She is so pretty. Ask her if she knows a Prince I once dated called Booger Brains. She hasn't. I tell her she is lucky there are no such things as bike riding where she comes from as maybe it wouldn't have worked out with her and Prince Charming. Ask her if Prince Charming has any cute friends that she can hook me up with.
Suddenly am being escorted from Princess area and yell at Snow White that I will try and come back to finish our chat. Line up again but am told that Snow White is finished for the day. I am followed by security for rest of the day.
Get home and am excited for Snow White photo. Realise Brother must be still asleep as both of our heads are cut off.
No problem. We have a three day pass...

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Head Banging

Easter. A time for chocolate and family. Or if, like me, you are single then a time for working and waiting for the long weekend to be over. Holidays are just rude reminders of not having family of own (insert violins here). Saw movie once where Ben Affleck hired family to share holiday with...might look into that so I can get lots of chocolate in future (no one should have to buy their own Easter eggs!)
Did happen to meet a cute man though. Was all tucked up in bed, reading about the rain in Spain and then there was an almighty crash. I looked out of my third-storey window to see a man lying beside his motorbike after slamming into the side of my house.
After calling out and asking him if he was my new Prince, I realised that he was not in any position to confess undying love with blood pouring out of his head, so ran downstairs in pj's and went to assess damage (and check his star sign).
Poor fellow was in a bad way and soon pj's went from white to red as I tried to clean him up. Ambulance on the way but time to "get to know each other". (It is important not to waste any opportunity.) Told him he would have a great scar from accident and scars are very sexy. Apparently I am very funny (or maybe he was concussed) either way I was happy to take compliment.
Ambulance arrived and off he went.
I wonder if dating has really become this hard that men have to crash in side of house for me to meet them?