There is one place I love to visit when I am in a bookstore (and that's if you can find a bookstore anymore).
There is a magical world called "Self Help." Yep, I am a fan. After all who wouldn't want to help themselves given the chance? I also love seeing the company I keep in this wonderful aisle - or more like aisles given the amount of "self" help we now need in the world.
I have my own floor to ceiling library in my house where I have a wide variety of books, all anal retentively categorised and you guessed it I have many shelves of self help goodness.
I bring this up because recently I have had to revisit this section and consult the bibles of any girl's life. He's Not That into You, Mars and Venus on a Date, The Five Love Languages and just for good measure The Secret.
I just need to remind myself that no matter what - wait for him to make the first move. No matter what - don't call. No matter what - be everything you can be just not yourself. I've decided these books are just here to confuse us, taunt us and remind us woman that unless a guy calls us then we may as well forget any hope of ever having a boyfriend. Honestly, I am concerned about breathing in case of scaring all those potential guys away.
I guess the real question here is why have I had to pull out all of my mind f**k books anyway? Yes good bloody question. Could it be that I acted ridiculously towards a boy then needed to reaffirm it via books written about girls just like me?
Here's the thing. Everything I could have done wrong in the world of boys, I did recently. Yep, I told him I liked him first, I called first and I am so busy worrying about what I can't do that I stuff it up and do it anyway.
Is it any wonder he hasn't asked me out on a date yet?
I have decided to write my own book entitled How to give 100% to being a Loser, without getting off the couch.
John Gray eat your Mars and Venus heart out.
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