Scrambled Eggs

The decision to attend a party is always going to go one of two ways. The first is a night of tedium and rolling eyes (mine) with people that are dull and mind numbing and as soon as 10pm hits it is officially time to exit stage left and still be polite.
Then there are the parties that are unexpected surprises. The other kind of party. Usually the one that you have to drag yourself to in the first place because your pyjamas are calling.
This weekend held one of those such parties.
I arrived late, only because the drive was like going on a road trip and as such stops at fast food places are a must. Plus, I got lost a few times and considered turning back around and having a hot date with my pyjamas who love me unconditionally.
Was strong and finally made it to party. Arrived at time of speeches, but was a good thing as no one knew I was late, and low and behold the bar was right were I had to come in. With red wine in hand felt suddenly fabulous. Plus noticed that incredibly good looking man was also by my side and keeps glancing across at me (thank god I am a woman and my peripheral vision is brilliant). Pyjamas are suddenly forgotten.
With speeches over it was time to make way to awaiting friends and let the night begin. Turns out cute boy at bar was in fact gay (yes I asked) but is interested in having a baby, so would I perhaps like to be the surrogate? Can't seem to remember what I agreed to, so may be preggers soon. Did ask him what he was looking at at the bar when I came in if he was gay and apparently I have fabulous breasts and that yes gay men like breasts. Non gay man is standing nearby and agrees with breast statement and I realise that suddenly it is okay for all eyes to be on my breasts. Non gay man tells me he is dating and woman expert, so I ask him where his girlfriend is. None exists. I should be grateful as means I can now "have him" but I actually would rather "have" gay man at this point.
About to head home when I start talking to lovely young man and all I can do is think about him kissing me.
Yet all I do is leave.
Good news is didn't make an ass of myself and am without child. Thumbs up for me!