We're gonna need a...

Right. So decided that today something new and exciting needed to happen.
I wondered what it would be like to live in a movie and if so what character I would be. Well I would still be me but what would it be like if I was playing me? The temptation of course is to jump to the end of the film where I live happily ever after but that would be too predicable.
Instead I decided to re-enact the next best thing:
The Montage.
All the cool stuff happens in a montage. You lose weight, you get a new job, you paint walls, there is lots of laughing and water fights and all in the space of minutes. Then the montage finishes and you come out the other side ready to "get" your happy ending.
If a normal montage takes minutes then surely I can do my whole montage in a day.
Great start. Laughing heartily with cute guy making my morning coffee, opening up shop where I work and pumped up the music. Danced to music as I set up, imagining that song was theme track for montage scene. Greeted customers with big smile. Laughed. Cuddled children. Was having a blast.
Weight was coming off. Walls were already painted. I had a job. All I needed was a water fight. Maybe I wasn't clear on the brief as one of the words got mixed up.
In my happy montage state I had made a small error and gave a customer the wrong product. He came back and was VERY upset by my mistake. I apologised. He yelled.
I was starting to get confused. I don't remember bad stuff happening in montages.
Then I thought maybe this is where my Prince comes and saves me. Had to be. Because in my montage I only want fun stuff.
So then my customer says to me, "You are so lucky you are not a guy or I would punch you out."
Hello? Any day now Prince.
No?
Dead air ensued.
So I looked into the face of a 70 year old cranky pants who wants to punch me because he had to come back (god forbid!) and I did what any montage film star would do.
I cried.
Slight distortion on montage brief with water fight turning into water works.
Oh well. Montage done. Well almost.
Will dance to Britney in cute little panties and sing into my hairbrush in front of the mirror before bed. That would end montage nicely (especially given that this is a movie and my Prince will be watching through window whilst realising he must have me.)
Okay so happy ending now please.
(Pretty please with vanilla ice-cream and sprinkles on top?)