Halloween

One upon a time, a long long time ago a little girl called Paula sat down and watched a film that had been taped on her families Betamax machine.
The little girl sat and watched the whole film through, not understanding that this film would change her life forever.
No matter how much she wanted to look away she could not. No matter how much she knew that she was too young to watch this film she still watched it until the end.
A new icon would come into Paula's life and with him a soundtrack that would haunt Paula every time she heard it.
His name was Michael Myers.
Now years later another film star would come into the picture with an almost identical name: Mike Myers. Yet this film star was funny and had no problem farting his way into roles such a Fat Bastard.
No, Paula was not fearful of farting and Fat Bastard but kitchen knives, navy blue King Gee overalls and a mask that once looked like Captain Kirk.
Every Halloween Paula knows that Michael Myers comes out to play. He never dies and seems to be able to walk through walls. No matter how fast you run, he can get you. No matter where you hide he knows where you are.
Paula is not entirely sure if she may or may not be related to Michael Myers (one never knows these things even if they have seen their birth certificate) and Michael Myers is always looking for his relatives to slice and dice. Even if you are not a relative you may just be in the way. So leading up to Halloween there are some very strict rules:

Don't leave the house.
Don't stay in the house.
Don't walk in the street.
Don't get in your car.
Don't look out of the window.
Don't babysit.
Don't have your boyfriend around.
Definitely don't have sex.
Don't get into spas that will burn your face off.
Don't hang around Dr Loomis.
Don't hang around Jamie Lee Curtis.
Don't wear white nighties.

Let's face it you can't do anything...so just play dead (in a coffin may even be wise) and wait for Halloween to come and go.
Paula has been following these strict instructions since she was 12 and so far so good. (She has also had three missing person's reports taken out on her but clearly worth it.)
Then just when Paula thought it was safe to watch another film on her Betamax, little did she know that this film would also change her life forever.
Lucky the rules were simple.
Don't go into the water.
And she never did again.